Survivor 2020

 

Hindsight is always 20/20 (in this case, the year 2020)

This expression means: It’s easier to analyze and evaluate situations when we’re looking back on them in the past, than when we’re in the present moment.

The word hindsight refers to looking back or reflecting on things in the past, and 20/20 refers to perfect vision. So when we look back on situations in the past, we see things clearly that were not clear to us at the time.

Let’s face it; 2020 was a shitshow.  (Yes, I looked this term up in the slang dictionary,  https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/shitshow/ )The other terms I came up with were even worse. In my wildest imagination I couldn’t have even come close to the reality we came to face. At 51 years old, I had never considered myself a conspiracy theorist but I’ll be honest and tell you that when Covid-19 first started circulating our “info-sphere”. (That’s a new word I created to encompass every platform we use to obtain information...I inserted the hyphen for originality) I thought it was a hoax. I felt no real anxiety and quit honestly, I

Didn’t even give it a second thought. Little did I know that life as I knew it was about to change...and change it did. 

For the past year I have watched a phantom enemy sweeping through our world, sweeping through our homes, sweeping through our minds causing chaos, death, destruction...and perhaps the worst of all, dissension. Mix that with a polar year of politics and you have the perfect cocktail to create a visceral need to survive at all costs. 

I have witnessed things this past year that completely caught me off guard from people that completely caught me off guard. I can tell you this, in the past year I have turned another year older and another year wiser although, I think the wisdom I gained this year alone would far exceed the prior years combined. 

But because I am now able to look “back” at 2020 I want to reflect on the positive things that I can see clearly. This is where my post gets good!

I have learned that my colleagues can take a lot of crap from me and still love me. We, in the healthcare profession, have had to learn to rely on one another in a way we never did before. We have prayed together, mourned together, cried together, laughed together, gotten angry at the world together and simply sat in the quiet decompressing together. We had to accept that we didn’t have answers but were still required to provide care and reassure our patients. At the end of the day....we are still together. And I am beyond grateful for them. 

I have learned that mental health needs to be taken more seriously. 

I have learned that I can live in a world without actors, athletes and entertainers, but I can’t live in a world that keeps me from being with people I love. This year has reminded me what living is truly about...spending time talking and actively listening to the people I care about and being present in every moment. 

I have learned that a person’s truest self will always emerge in a world of adversity and I have seen some truly beautiful people do some truly beautiful things. The random acts of kindness I have been blessed with this past year are probably the very things that have sustained me through the worst of the worst. 

I have learned that I’m stronger than I ever realized, that I still have the ability to learn new things and that I can still remain professional even when my mind is thinking less than professional thoughts. Hey, I’m only human but I’m a human that hasn’t lost my empathy and that is my greatest blessing so far. 

I have learned that hearing a baby’s first cry can make you forget that there is anything less than total joy in this world, even when you can’t see it. 

In hindsight, I think 2020 was just what I needed in my life...a year to regain my perspective and give myself a clearer focus on what is really important in this life. 

I’m not anxious to continue on this current trajectory but I do feel that I can handle whatever comes next.  I don’t plan to put a lot of pressure on 2021. I think just taking it one day at a time will be my best plan.

DNA Doesn’t Make A Family, Love Does

 In the quiet moments, when none may have seen, A humble heart nurtured selflessly. 

You raised another man’s children with a love so true, It was a testament to the depth of you. 

Each step was taken, with patience and care, Guiding their young souls, you showed them how to fare. 

In your embrace they found a home, Where acceptance and love beautifully roamed. 

Their laughter, their tears, you held them near, you embraced their journey, year after year. 

With a steady hand and a heart so wide, You became their anchor, their constant guide.

For your love knew no bounds, nor was a bloodline defined, In your love's embrace, they were beautifully entwined. 

A parent in every sense of the word, Your love's legacy will forever be  heard. 

From generation to generation your actions will be held dear, A reminder that love can be simple and clear.

In his actions, love took the lead

 

From the very beginning, In the quiet moments of life, you were teaching me lessons; lessons that would leave a lasting impression. Lessons taught not just in words, but in profound deeds. 

When I was just one year old, you drove three thousand miles, round trip, to California to fetch me home where I belonged. You loved to tell the story that I was the best baby and I never made a sound the entire way.  After having babies and grand babies of my own, I can tell you, that was love talking. You taught me sacrifice. You taught me love. 

As I got older, I wanted to spend every available minute at your house! You would mow the grass so that I could make birds nest from the clippings. You would let me walk in front of you while tilling the garden letting me think I was doing it myself. You would let me stand on your feet between you and Nannie, dancing in the living room while listening to Lawrence Welk on Saturday nights. You taught me to play Yahtzee and poker while betting with matches. You placed hundreds of imaginary orders and ate hundreds of imaginary meals while you let me pretend to be a waitress at a restaurant. You taught me patience. You taught me love. 

When I was a teenager, my life was difficult. You let me move into your home and allowed me to graduate High School. You were proud of me when I got a job and purchased a car on my own. You would start my car every morning in the winter so it would be warm for me on my way to work. You watched me get ready on my wedding day with tears in your eyes. You taught me selflessness. You taught me love. 

The night I delivered my first baby, you were there at the hospital late at night waiting. I have a home video with your voice in the background. I could hear the pride in your voice when they brought him to the viewing window. I’m so glad I have that. You taught me dedication. You taught me love. 

All throughout my life your actions showed me truths that would make me a better person. You taught me to listen, not just to hear, but to have empathy and  be sincere. You showed me the value of a kind heart, how a gentle voice could get better results than the loudest yell. You taught me work ethic and how to take pride in a job well done. In your every action, you taught me love is always near. You taught me courage in facing fears, to persevere despite my tears. You taught me to cherish each passing day and to find joy in simple things. You taught me all the important things in life. You taught me love. 

Grandparents

 I didn’t have a lot of “things” growing up. My parents worked hard but we were mid to lower class at best. Money was always a struggle. What we didn’t have monetarily, we more than made up for in love from our grandparents. 

My best memories were always with one of two sets of grandparents. Every weekend we would try our best to be at one of their homes. I think I learned all of the “important stuff” from them. 

For example, with my dads parents, I learned about the importance of pouring my coffee (at the very old age of maybe 4?) on a saucer to cool before I drank it. Of course if was probably 90% milk and sugar but I thought I was big anyway. I learned to love music on Sunday mornings before Sunday school and church because we ALWAYS listened to the The Chuck Wagon Gang while getting ready. I learned how to feed chickens and make every penny count. My granddaddy would put one dollar bills in my bible to make sure I had money to put in the offering plate. They were poor but they always made sure to make the best memories with us. 

On Saturday’s we would buy a watermelon, onions and tomatoes from a little road side vegetable stand on the way to Hordes Creek. We would take cheese and a jug of water and spend the entire afternoon swimming. 

On Friday afternoons we would get snow cones at Mr Clary’s snow cone stand and park near the train track to watch the trains go by. My granddaddy retired from the railroad company after an injury. A load of cross ties fell from a cart and cripples his knees. But he loved trains and therefore we did too. 

My mom’s parents were the same but different. We learned to plant a garden, pick up pecans and make birds nest from freah cut grass. We learned to dance in the living room while listening to Lawrence Welk and Hee Haw. 

My Nannie’s favorite time of day was just before the sun would set. They live one block from Hufford Field. In the fall, we would sit in folding lawn chairs in the back yard. We could see the score board from their yard and we could hear the commentary. We never missed a home game. I would climb their old mesquite tree and dream of grand adventures while my Nanny would watch the birds fly over to their roost for the night. My Papaw would just watch her. I think it was his favorite thing to do. 

Almost 55 years later, as I sit in my own back yard, listening to the football game ( because I only live a few blocks from Hufford Field myself) I reflect on the life I’ve lived and the life I have yet to live. I now have grandchildren of my own. Every day I spend with them brings back memories of the days I spent with my own grandparents and I realize, they were some of the greatest influences in my life. Not necessarily how to be successful in life, but how to be happy. I hope I am able to show the little things in life that are really, really “the important stuff” to my own grandchildren and I hope their memories are just as precious as mine one day.

The Big 50

I woke up today like any other day; 5 o’clock to workout then shower and get ready for work. As I looked in the mirror it was easy to criticize my 50 year old reflection. Wrinkles and crinkles, sags and bags...stretch marks and handles that weren’t there 30 years ago. When did this happen??!?  Sometimes when I look at my reflection all I can see are aesthetics. But if I step back, take a breath and focus on what’s good and sweet and meaningful the reflection changes to something that I would never change. Not one wrinkle, not one sag, not one grey hair....because although this is my story......THIS is also my song!

To My Angel Baby On Her Wedding Day

To My Angel Baby,

Today I altered your wedding dress. Tomorrow, William Cody Self will alter your future. How did this happen so fast? Just yesterday you and I were up for a 2AM feeding and you were snuggled up to me with a sweet little smile and not one single worry in this world...because I was your world. Oh how I have taken for granted the precious time I had to raise you. Almost a quarter of a century sounds like forever but believe me....it's not!

I think back over the years to all the firsts we experienced together. All of the typical ones come to mind quickly.... First time to sleep through the night; first steps; first day of school; first sleepover without me; first boyfriend. But the ones I really treasure....your first time to taste ice cream; your first time to recognize yourself in the mirror; your first understanding of who Jesus really is; your first time to solve a problem by yourself; your first time to tell me you didn't need my help; your first time to be heartbroken; your first time to tell me thank you for being hard on you when you were younger. All of these firsts were amazing and funny and sad and hard and...priceless!

                 
                                            

I remember you once saying, life doesn't come with a manual, it comes with a mother. Of all the things I've wanted to do and accomplish in this world, being a mother was at the top of the list, just below being a servant to Christ and being a good spouse. Because without being the first two, I wouldn't have been able to fulfill the third. 

My greatest joy has come from being your Mom. I have tried my hardest to teach you to be strong, brave, full of integrity, respectful and self sufficient. My goal was to instill in you a sense of self worth so that one day you could chose a partner that would enhance you, not one that would control you. I believe you have chosen well. 

I’m so excited to watch you move through this next chapter of your life. This is where the fun really begins! Relying on your parents wasn’t a choice. You had to put up with us. Relying on your husband, that is a choice, one that can be a challenge some days but rewarding most days. I hope you will continue to have the patience you have shown growing up. Marriage isn’t always easy, it takes work and commitment but it’s the most rewarding relationship you will ever have.

If I could give you some advice it would be this: always be honest. Trust is a slippery slope and once broken can never be fully repaired. If you are always honest about your thoughts and feelings, you can’t help but respect each other. 

Remember that God will always provide what you need THIS DAY so don’t get consumed with what you want in the future. It’s alright to plan for the future but don’t let your dreams ruin your reality. 

Your marriage will one day be the cornerstone for every decision, every moral, every concept that your children will fall back on to pave their own relationships. Always show them what it means to love, respect and be a united front with each other. Don’t ever let your children destroy your own relationship. They should be third behind your God and your spouse.  

And speaking of children, I think the day I look forward to the most is the day that that I watch you look into the eyes of your newborn child because that my sweet baby girl, is the day I get to see you realize what it has meant to me to be your mother! It’s a love that can’t be explained, it must be experienced!

So as you walk down that isle tomorrow, arm in arm with your Daddy, know this...we aren’t giving you away, we are just Trusting your care to another person. You will always be our Angel Baby!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Love,
♥️Mom♥️

Dear Son

Dear Cody,

Do you remember the first day we met? I was sitting in Cheyenne’s classroom with my back to the door. I heard the door open and I looked up at her to see her acknowledge the presence of whomever had just walked in. Now you need to understand something before I go on. I was the first person in this world to look upon her beautiful face. For over 24 years watching her expressions has been my greatest joy. I’ve become an expert at predicting her thoughts just by her facial expressions alone. But that day? That day I saw an expression I had never seen before. That day I saw an expression that said, “he’s the one”. That day I saw an expression that scared me. Yes. I said it. You scare me.

Understand me, I already love you more than I’m able to adequately express. But the power and role you will have in my daughter’s life today strikes up more fear in my heart than I’ve ever been prepared to deal with. You have the ability to help my daughter flourish into the woman she will become, or the ability to crush her. Can you possibly understand how scary that is for a mother?

I pray about you frequently. I have high standards for you, and I don’t mean that to be a daunting thing, but entrusting my daughter under your leadership is likely the hardest thing I will ever do. She’s my baby. Raising her is my greatest joy, and watching her marry you will be the most bittersweet thing I will ever do.

Therefore I pray that you are a strong man of faith. Full of integrity and true character, loyal and honest, brave and intelligent. I pray you are gentle with my girl. I pray you are an amazing father, and that my daughter encourages you in that role. I believe you will be thoughtful and caring, because I believe my daughter has chosen wisely.

I’ve been married for a while and I know the hard work it is. I know the burden a man has to provide, love and lead his family. I see the fear and uncertainty a man must deal with. I pray you have the necessary skills to lead gracefully and that God is always first in your life.

I’ve done my very best to raise a daughter who will love you wholeheartedly. Who understands that marriage isn’t a fairy tale, but a true commitment, a covenant that lasts far beyond broken rules or broken hearts. One that isn’t to be taken lightly, and something you don’t just give up on. I’ve encouraged her independence and leadership qualities, all while hoping to model for her how to respect her husband while maintaining her strength in character. I’ve taught her how to honor you. I’ve taught her the power her words have over you. She can be a voice that builds you up, or tears you down. I’ve taught her the beauty in being a mother who loves with all that she is. I’ve done my best to give her all the knowledge I can. I know I haven’t done it perfectly, I know she’ll make mistakes. Will you handle her with care and grace? Will you gently lead her into resolution and purpose? Will you lead her to heaven?

At the end of your life it is you – you, my son-in-law – who will give an account for the way you led and loved my little girl as Christ loves his bride, the church. Will you be given a good account for stewarding her heart with the love and servant-leadership of Christ? Will your children by my daughter find themselves being raised by a father whose life is humble and trembles at God’s word and will for his life?

I have no doubt that your mother has done her very best as well. That’s what we moms do. I have prayed for her as well. That she was given the grace she needed to raise you to be the man you were meant to be. I pray she and I always love one another and can be your biggest cheerleaders.

So yes, son, you scare me. Entrusting you with my daughter will be the hardest thing I will ever do. But I’ve chosen to believe you will be the spouse my daughter was called to marry. I chose to pray regularly over your relationship, many years in advance, because while marriage isn’t as sacred in our world as it once was – it IS a truly beautiful, sacred covenant. I long to see the two of you in a true commitment that leads your family to a beautiful, happy ending.

So today, as you watch her walk down the isle to you and you take her hand into yours, know that you take my heart into your hand as well. I love you my son♥️

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:25-28‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Tammy

Nurses Week May 6-12, 2017

May 6-12 is National Nurses Week. I'm lucky. I work in a profession that calls to its participants. On good days, bad days and all the in between days, at the end of these days, the people I am surrounded with never regret their choice to have become a Nurse. In honor of this, I would like to introduce you to the top 10 Nurses that have had a huge impact on my life and my Nursing career. They are only a small portion of the nurses who have influenced and inspired me in my career. These are in no specific order as each and every one of them has helped to mold me into the Nurse I am today.

#1. Ann Smith, LVN- Ann was the first nurse to ever make an impact on my life. She was the nurse for Dr. Kemper when I was growing up. She kept him organized and on track. She was the person that alleviated my fear of going to see the Doctor. She was the buffer, the stabilizer, the educator and in my eyes, she was Super Woman. I wanted to be HER when I grew up. Looking back, I guess that’s exactly what I did, although I will always only strive to be the nurse that she was!

#2. Mary Anderson, LVN- Mary is the nurse that I will always look up to. Her faith in God has been one of the biggest influences in my life. Mary is the picture of Serenity. She obviously loves what she does. Even though she is retired, she still works at the hospital. When you are called into a profession, retirement won’t stop you from doing what you love!

#3. Angela Bailey, RN- Angela and I went to Nursing School together and later became Best Friends. Angela taught me the importance of having that one person that you can discuss anything with. She helps me to see all angles, to decompress, to rant, to cry, to curse when I need to and to celebrate when I get a chance. No matter the time of day or night, when I need her, she is there.

#4. Lynn Heard Poe, LVN- Lynn taught me that you are never too old to chase your dreams. Lynn and I went to nursing school together. She was 52 and was one of the best students in our class. She was my piece of mind when I would stress about school, being a mom and wife and trying to juggle all that was going on in my life at that time. I couldn’t have done it without her.

#5. Tanna Kaye Gilbreath, LVN- Tanna is the nurse you want in any emergency. She is cool, calm and collected. You will never see her sweat. She is the most level-headed nurse I’ve ever met. She is also a great teacher and is always willing to help you out when you need guidance or direction. She has taught me many things over the years and I will forever be grateful for all of her shared wisdom.

#6. Sandra Ratliff, RN- Sandra absolutely loves being a nurse! She goes the extra mile in every sense of the word. She wants to provide the best care possible and will spend her own time researching, training and investigating in order to do just that. She is the best OB nurse hands down. I hope that I will someday have just a smidgeon of the knowledge this woman has!

#7. Steph Leathers, RN- As most of you know, Steph is my little Sister. She is my constant reminder that someone is ALWAYS watching you. Steph is 17 years younger than me and the day that she told me she was going to nursing school was one of my proudest moments. She has become a nurse for me to look up to!

#8. David Longley, RN, FNP-C- David Longley has taught me that there is no ceiling to your education. David started out as a LVN and has worked his way through every level of education to get to where he is today. He is smart and thorough and an excellent part of our CCMC and clinic team.

#9. Jenn Echols Adams, LVN, Chanda Rice, LVN  and Jennifer Pelton Rambo, LVN- Yes, I realize this is more than one person but these three nurses make my life FUN on a daily basis. We have to rely on each other and cover for each other. They have become like sisters to me as we share everything from laughs to tears to food every day. We are a team and I am so grateful for each one of them. 

#10. LaRae Cunningham, RN- LaRae has taught me that sometimes it can take a while to get to where you are going but it’s not the time it takes to get there, it’s  what you learn along the journey. She is what I would consider a “Newbie Nurse” but I have no doubt that she has finally arrived at the place that she belongs.

• There isn't a person on earth that hasn't had their lives touched by a nurse in some way. I hope that you will take the opportunity to let that person know that they have made a difference!

Free To Be Me

He's Seen My Tears

Here's To Doing Better!

I don't make New Year's Resolutions. I believe that if I want to make a change, I should make it with conviction and it should be worthy enough that it should be started immediately. I think if I have to put a start date on it then I have already allowed just the slightest bit of doubt to wiggle it's way into my determination and I have already unerringly set a stop date. I do however, feel that it is important to self reflect and something about starting a New Year always seems to have me doing that to a deeper degree.

I woke up this morning, hoping to take a deep breath in and to blow out an entire year of "not so great-ness". I'm gonna be the first to admit, 2016 was not my favorite year. It was hard, it was painful and it will not be missed. But after my long anticipated exhalation, I realized, there was no new euphoria for me. There was no new anticipation of better things to come. There was just....no difference. For the first time in a long time, I woke up on a day I would normally feel the need to write and I just had nothing to say. 

So I lazed around, had some coffee, read a book and finally got myself ready for church. Have you ever had someone tell you that if you're  going to pray, pray with conviction? Well let me tell you, if you're going to go to the Lord's House to worship, worship with conviction. This morning, during an other wise ordinary worship service, since I was obviously incapable of worshiping with conviction of my own merit, God decided to get my attention through the convicted worship of my dear friend, Lorrie Jameson Payne. She sang a song this morning that I have never heard, that is over a century old and that slapped me right between the eyes as to why my "grand exhale" did nothing for me. The title of the song was, "An Evening Prayer". Here are the words to perhaps one of the most profound prayer-hymns that I have ever heard:

If I have wounded any soul today,

If I have caused one foot to go astray,

If I have walked in my own willful way,

Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have uttered idle words or vain,

If I have turned aside from want or pain,

Lest I offend some other through the strain,

Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have been perverse, or hard, or cold,

If I have longed for shelter in the fold,

When Thou hast given me some fort to hold,

Dear Lord, forgive!

Forgive the sins I have confessed to Thee;

Forgive the secret sins I do not see;

O guide me, love me, and my keeper be.

Dear Lord, forgive!

Self-reflection. May 2017 be the year I do better!

Thanksgiving 2016

Every year on this day, I wake up to write a list of things I'm thankful for. If you know me, then you know I have no shortage of words that can flow across a page with ease when the mood strikes me. I have my Hallmark card list of "things I'm thankful for" that I could probably copy and paste in a moments notice. 

But this year is different. This year I woke up with tears before I could even get my iPad up and running. Some years are just harder than others and this is one of those. Sometimes I have to dig just a little bit further under the surface to be able to put my thoughts on paper. 

This has been a hard year for many reasons. Our country has been beaten and bruised by an election that has brought out the worst and ugliest sides in all of us. Our thoughts, our words and our actions have lashed out to inflict pain and they have met their mark with deadly precision. Though history tells me that we have been here before, this is the most divisive our nation has been in my lifetime and the feeling leaves me heartbroken and despairing. 

This year one of my closest friends, a sister of my heart, was diagnosed with cancer and is preparing for an epic battle to come...and she isn't alone. I can list at least a half a dozen more friends that were diagnosed and fighting as well. 

This year I have lost loved ones, unexpected to say the least, and it has left us in an uncomfortable position of asking God, "Why?"  No one likes to be at this place but as humans, we will inevitably be there at some point in our lives. And as always, I miss family members who passed years ago yet never more than during the holidays. Some losses never lose their sting. 

So this morning I've had to do some soul searching and spent a lot of time in prayer asking God to show me something, give me something, tell me something that would help me through this "year that wasn't as great as others". And being the Loving Father that He never fails to be, He showed me this verse....

Matthew 28:20, "I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

He told me through this verse that there is absolutely no place, no trial, no journey on this earth that He would not be there with me (and you) right by my side. 

So to my fellow Americans, we have not been nor will  we be alone as we begin this journey of repairing our country. 

To my beloved Adel, and my other friends and loved ones fighting cancer, we have not been nor will we be alone for every treatment, every trip to a hospital, every Doctor's visit to give us news of this horrible disease. 

To my family who has lost loved ones this year and years past, we have not been nor will we be alone during our time of grief, suffering and even anger. 

And to all of us, from every moment past to the right here and now and to every moment of the future, we have not been nor will we ever be alone! 

Today, that is what I am Thankful for...a God who will be with me always, to the very end of the age. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Look Full In His Wonderful Face

2 dates stand out in my mind as the greatest days on earth; 10/15/1991 and 6/2/1994. That's the day I met my babies. Most days I can't remember what I had for lunch but these two days? I can't remember everything that happened on these 2 days but one thing I will never forget is what my babies faces looked like. I remember that I couldn't look away from them. Something inside of me physically, mentally and emotionally would not let me take my eyes off of them.

The bible says that we can't look directly into the face of God. Not while we live in this world anyway. Did it ever dawn on you that if we can't look "full in His wonderful face" that He can't look into our eyes either? We are his babies. He has the same physical, mental and emotional need to look into our faces as we do with our own children. We know that He longs to see us because we were created in His image. So what is a parent to do?

He created an alternative path, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We can look into His face by looking into the faces of His people. We can make eye contact with God by making eye contact with His children.

Yet, we spend our days with our eyes on our phones, our iPads, our computers, our televisions. We rarely have a conversation anymore that our eye contact isn't interrupted with an electronic device. What could be more important than devoting our full attention to our fellow man when we know that we are seeing God through their eyes? What jobs do we have that are more important than showing others Christ through us?

I sure need to work on this! I fail at this miserably but I hope that I keep in mind that to love God's people is to love God Himself. I hope that I would never take my eyes off of God to read a text or an e-mail. I shouldn't do that with His Children either.

God, I ask that you would cleanse me of my selfishness and remind me that loving and respecting others is to love and respect You.

Come Home

When Cheyenne Casey  comes home, she always asks me why the coffee always tastes better at my house. We have the same coffee maker, we buy the same coffee and creamer. I never really have an answer for that question. But I do know that when I go to My Momma's house, I've always thought the same thing. Everything seems better at Momma's house. Naps are better, the food tastes better, I never worry about fixing my hair or getting in a hurry to get something done. I walk into her house and I just feel myself breath for a little bit. No matter how old I get, going to my Mom's house just feels like coming home. I don't think it has anything to do with WHERE she lives, I think it's more about WHO she is. I've always felt safe, taken care of, loved unconditionally and treated like I was her number one priority when I'm there.

We all want to feel that way. We all need to feel that way. Some people don't have a Mom that makes them feel this way. This makes me sad.  Some people have lost their parents or never had a parent that made them feel that way. Some people are going from home to home looking for something or someone that will make them feel that way.

God wants to be that person in our lives. He wants to be our dwelling place. He wants to be the person that makes us feel safe, taken care of, loved unconditionally and He wants to treat us as if we are his number one priority... Because we are! He is waiting for you at the door with the best cup of coffee you've ever had. All you have to do is come home❤️

Love Without Parameters

As I stand at the window of my hotel room this morning, I look out across the city of Houston and I am in awe of my surroundings. Not necessarily because it's beautiful, although it does have some artistic appeal to me, but because of its sheer magnitude. It's actually overwhelming to a small town girl like me. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the size of these buildings. It's even harder for me to comprehend the amount of people that are filling the insides of these buildings.

I'm amazed at the sheer effort that it takes to construct these monstrosities, the amount of intelligence it takes to plan them, the amount of muscle it takes to execute those plans. I've been watching a construction site just below my window all morning. If I look closely I can see that there are men and women working on multiple floors. Hundreds of people. There are people above operating cranes and other heavy equipment.  There are people directing and people following. They look like ants, all knowing what needs to be done, all coming together for a common purpose. For most, it's probably for a paycheck. For some, it might be for the satisfaction of doing a job well. For all, it's to build this building. Side by side, they work on a mutual project. People of different colors, different races, different genders, different religions. People taking orders and direction from supervisors without incident.

On these same streets, on any given day you will see people gathered in large groups. Just one block over last night we watched over 30,000 fans pour into Minute Maid Park to watch a baseball game. Different colors, different races, different genders, different religions. Policemen directing traffic which I have come to find out happens every night down here. Everyone doing as they are instructed without incident. You might stand up here and watch a 5k run, people coming together to raise money for Breast Cancer Awareness. You might stand up here and watch this entire downtown area covered with people coming and going to the theater district.

These are the everyday activities of the people of the United States. This happens in every town and city across the US every day. People gathered together in large groups, working towards a mutual cause to accomplish a mutual goal without any attention given to the fact that we are different colors, different races, different genders or different religions.

Our government doesn't want us to see ourselves living together harmoniously. The media doesn't want us to see this everyday living that we do. Instead, they want to divide us, catagorize us, pit us against each other and keep us separated so that they can control our actions and our emotions. Satan is using our government and the media to divide and conquer us. We MUST wake up and take a stand against this! The bible says in Matthew, Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. It also says in 1 Corinthians, I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.

We as a nation, are NOT what we see on the news and social media. We are one nation, under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all. We as individuals are in control of what we allow to influence us. We as individuals are in control of how we treat other people. We as individuals are in control of our own actions. We, as individuals are responsible for kindness and compassion to those around us so that we as a nation can live together in harmony, with a mutual respect and a mutual cause.

God, I am the worlds worst at believing everything I see and hear at face value. I am guilty of allowing the news and social media of misguiding me and keeping me from working on relationships that matter. I ask that you remind me every day that the relationships I build with people are the most important thing I will ever do.