The Big 50

I woke up today like any other day; 5 o’clock to workout then shower and get ready for work. As I looked in the mirror it was easy to criticize my 50 year old reflection. Wrinkles and crinkles, sags and bags...stretch marks and handles that weren’t there 30 years ago. When did this happen??!?  Sometimes when I look at my reflection all I can see are aesthetics. But if I step back, take a breath and focus on what’s good and sweet and meaningful the reflection changes to something that I would never change. Not one wrinkle, not one sag, not one grey hair....because although this is my story......THIS is also my song!

To My Angel Baby On Her Wedding Day

To My Angel Baby,

Today I altered your wedding dress. Tomorrow, William Cody Self will alter your future. How did this happen so fast? Just yesterday you and I were up for a 2AM feeding and you were snuggled up to me with a sweet little smile and not one single worry in this world...because I was your world. Oh how I have taken for granted the precious time I had to raise you. Almost a quarter of a century sounds like forever but believe me....it's not!

I think back over the years to all the firsts we experienced together. All of the typical ones come to mind quickly.... First time to sleep through the night; first steps; first day of school; first sleepover without me; first boyfriend. But the ones I really treasure....your first time to taste ice cream; your first time to recognize yourself in the mirror; your first understanding of who Jesus really is; your first time to solve a problem by yourself; your first time to tell me you didn't need my help; your first time to be heartbroken; your first time to tell me thank you for being hard on you when you were younger. All of these firsts were amazing and funny and sad and hard and...priceless!

                 
                                            

I remember you once saying, life doesn't come with a manual, it comes with a mother. Of all the things I've wanted to do and accomplish in this world, being a mother was at the top of the list, just below being a servant to Christ and being a good spouse. Because without being the first two, I wouldn't have been able to fulfill the third. 

My greatest joy has come from being your Mom. I have tried my hardest to teach you to be strong, brave, full of integrity, respectful and self sufficient. My goal was to instill in you a sense of self worth so that one day you could chose a partner that would enhance you, not one that would control you. I believe you have chosen well. 

I’m so excited to watch you move through this next chapter of your life. This is where the fun really begins! Relying on your parents wasn’t a choice. You had to put up with us. Relying on your husband, that is a choice, one that can be a challenge some days but rewarding most days. I hope you will continue to have the patience you have shown growing up. Marriage isn’t always easy, it takes work and commitment but it’s the most rewarding relationship you will ever have.

If I could give you some advice it would be this: always be honest. Trust is a slippery slope and once broken can never be fully repaired. If you are always honest about your thoughts and feelings, you can’t help but respect each other. 

Remember that God will always provide what you need THIS DAY so don’t get consumed with what you want in the future. It’s alright to plan for the future but don’t let your dreams ruin your reality. 

Your marriage will one day be the cornerstone for every decision, every moral, every concept that your children will fall back on to pave their own relationships. Always show them what it means to love, respect and be a united front with each other. Don’t ever let your children destroy your own relationship. They should be third behind your God and your spouse.  

And speaking of children, I think the day I look forward to the most is the day that that I watch you look into the eyes of your newborn child because that my sweet baby girl, is the day I get to see you realize what it has meant to me to be your mother! It’s a love that can’t be explained, it must be experienced!

So as you walk down that isle tomorrow, arm in arm with your Daddy, know this...we aren’t giving you away, we are just Trusting your care to another person. You will always be our Angel Baby!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Love,
♥️Mom♥️

Dear Son

Dear Cody,

Do you remember the first day we met? I was sitting in Cheyenne’s classroom with my back to the door. I heard the door open and I looked up at her to see her acknowledge the presence of whomever had just walked in. Now you need to understand something before I go on. I was the first person in this world to look upon her beautiful face. For over 24 years watching her expressions has been my greatest joy. I’ve become an expert at predicting her thoughts just by her facial expressions alone. But that day? That day I saw an expression I had never seen before. That day I saw an expression that said, “he’s the one”. That day I saw an expression that scared me. Yes. I said it. You scare me.

Understand me, I already love you more than I’m able to adequately express. But the power and role you will have in my daughter’s life today strikes up more fear in my heart than I’ve ever been prepared to deal with. You have the ability to help my daughter flourish into the woman she will become, or the ability to crush her. Can you possibly understand how scary that is for a mother?

I pray about you frequently. I have high standards for you, and I don’t mean that to be a daunting thing, but entrusting my daughter under your leadership is likely the hardest thing I will ever do. She’s my baby. Raising her is my greatest joy, and watching her marry you will be the most bittersweet thing I will ever do.

Therefore I pray that you are a strong man of faith. Full of integrity and true character, loyal and honest, brave and intelligent. I pray you are gentle with my girl. I pray you are an amazing father, and that my daughter encourages you in that role. I believe you will be thoughtful and caring, because I believe my daughter has chosen wisely.

I’ve been married for a while and I know the hard work it is. I know the burden a man has to provide, love and lead his family. I see the fear and uncertainty a man must deal with. I pray you have the necessary skills to lead gracefully and that God is always first in your life.

I’ve done my very best to raise a daughter who will love you wholeheartedly. Who understands that marriage isn’t a fairy tale, but a true commitment, a covenant that lasts far beyond broken rules or broken hearts. One that isn’t to be taken lightly, and something you don’t just give up on. I’ve encouraged her independence and leadership qualities, all while hoping to model for her how to respect her husband while maintaining her strength in character. I’ve taught her how to honor you. I’ve taught her the power her words have over you. She can be a voice that builds you up, or tears you down. I’ve taught her the beauty in being a mother who loves with all that she is. I’ve done my best to give her all the knowledge I can. I know I haven’t done it perfectly, I know she’ll make mistakes. Will you handle her with care and grace? Will you gently lead her into resolution and purpose? Will you lead her to heaven?

At the end of your life it is you – you, my son-in-law – who will give an account for the way you led and loved my little girl as Christ loves his bride, the church. Will you be given a good account for stewarding her heart with the love and servant-leadership of Christ? Will your children by my daughter find themselves being raised by a father whose life is humble and trembles at God’s word and will for his life?

I have no doubt that your mother has done her very best as well. That’s what we moms do. I have prayed for her as well. That she was given the grace she needed to raise you to be the man you were meant to be. I pray she and I always love one another and can be your biggest cheerleaders.

So yes, son, you scare me. Entrusting you with my daughter will be the hardest thing I will ever do. But I’ve chosen to believe you will be the spouse my daughter was called to marry. I chose to pray regularly over your relationship, many years in advance, because while marriage isn’t as sacred in our world as it once was – it IS a truly beautiful, sacred covenant. I long to see the two of you in a true commitment that leads your family to a beautiful, happy ending.

So today, as you watch her walk down the isle to you and you take her hand into yours, know that you take my heart into your hand as well. I love you my son♥️

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:25-28‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Tammy

Nurses Week May 6-12, 2017

May 6-12 is National Nurses Week. I'm lucky. I work in a profession that calls to its participants. On good days, bad days and all the in between days, at the end of these days, the people I am surrounded with never regret their choice to have become a Nurse. In honor of this, I would like to introduce you to the top 10 Nurses that have had a huge impact on my life and my Nursing career. They are only a small portion of the nurses who have influenced and inspired me in my career. These are in no specific order as each and every one of them has helped to mold me into the Nurse I am today.

#1. Ann Smith, LVN- Ann was the first nurse to ever make an impact on my life. She was the nurse for Dr. Kemper when I was growing up. She kept him organized and on track. She was the person that alleviated my fear of going to see the Doctor. She was the buffer, the stabilizer, the educator and in my eyes, she was Super Woman. I wanted to be HER when I grew up. Looking back, I guess that’s exactly what I did, although I will always only strive to be the nurse that she was!

#2. Mary Anderson, LVN- Mary is the nurse that I will always look up to. Her faith in God has been one of the biggest influences in my life. Mary is the picture of Serenity. She obviously loves what she does. Even though she is retired, she still works at the hospital. When you are called into a profession, retirement won’t stop you from doing what you love!

#3. Angela Bailey, RN- Angela and I went to Nursing School together and later became Best Friends. Angela taught me the importance of having that one person that you can discuss anything with. She helps me to see all angles, to decompress, to rant, to cry, to curse when I need to and to celebrate when I get a chance. No matter the time of day or night, when I need her, she is there.

#4. Lynn Heard Poe, LVN- Lynn taught me that you are never too old to chase your dreams. Lynn and I went to nursing school together. She was 52 and was one of the best students in our class. She was my piece of mind when I would stress about school, being a mom and wife and trying to juggle all that was going on in my life at that time. I couldn’t have done it without her.

#5. Tanna Kaye Gilbreath, LVN- Tanna is the nurse you want in any emergency. She is cool, calm and collected. You will never see her sweat. She is the most level-headed nurse I’ve ever met. She is also a great teacher and is always willing to help you out when you need guidance or direction. She has taught me many things over the years and I will forever be grateful for all of her shared wisdom.

#6. Sandra Ratliff, RN- Sandra absolutely loves being a nurse! She goes the extra mile in every sense of the word. She wants to provide the best care possible and will spend her own time researching, training and investigating in order to do just that. She is the best OB nurse hands down. I hope that I will someday have just a smidgeon of the knowledge this woman has!

#7. Steph Leathers, RN- As most of you know, Steph is my little Sister. She is my constant reminder that someone is ALWAYS watching you. Steph is 17 years younger than me and the day that she told me she was going to nursing school was one of my proudest moments. She has become a nurse for me to look up to!

#8. David Longley, RN, FNP-C- David Longley has taught me that there is no ceiling to your education. David started out as a LVN and has worked his way through every level of education to get to where he is today. He is smart and thorough and an excellent part of our CCMC and clinic team.

#9. Jenn Echols Adams, LVN, Chanda Rice, LVN  and Jennifer Pelton Rambo, LVN- Yes, I realize this is more than one person but these three nurses make my life FUN on a daily basis. We have to rely on each other and cover for each other. They have become like sisters to me as we share everything from laughs to tears to food every day. We are a team and I am so grateful for each one of them. 

#10. LaRae Cunningham, RN- LaRae has taught me that sometimes it can take a while to get to where you are going but it’s not the time it takes to get there, it’s  what you learn along the journey. She is what I would consider a “Newbie Nurse” but I have no doubt that she has finally arrived at the place that she belongs.

• There isn't a person on earth that hasn't had their lives touched by a nurse in some way. I hope that you will take the opportunity to let that person know that they have made a difference!

Free To Be Me

He's Seen My Tears

Here's To Doing Better!

I don't make New Year's Resolutions. I believe that if I want to make a change, I should make it with conviction and it should be worthy enough that it should be started immediately. I think if I have to put a start date on it then I have already allowed just the slightest bit of doubt to wiggle it's way into my determination and I have already unerringly set a stop date. I do however, feel that it is important to self reflect and something about starting a New Year always seems to have me doing that to a deeper degree.

I woke up this morning, hoping to take a deep breath in and to blow out an entire year of "not so great-ness". I'm gonna be the first to admit, 2016 was not my favorite year. It was hard, it was painful and it will not be missed. But after my long anticipated exhalation, I realized, there was no new euphoria for me. There was no new anticipation of better things to come. There was just....no difference. For the first time in a long time, I woke up on a day I would normally feel the need to write and I just had nothing to say. 

So I lazed around, had some coffee, read a book and finally got myself ready for church. Have you ever had someone tell you that if you're  going to pray, pray with conviction? Well let me tell you, if you're going to go to the Lord's House to worship, worship with conviction. This morning, during an other wise ordinary worship service, since I was obviously incapable of worshiping with conviction of my own merit, God decided to get my attention through the convicted worship of my dear friend, Lorrie Jameson Payne. She sang a song this morning that I have never heard, that is over a century old and that slapped me right between the eyes as to why my "grand exhale" did nothing for me. The title of the song was, "An Evening Prayer". Here are the words to perhaps one of the most profound prayer-hymns that I have ever heard:

If I have wounded any soul today,

If I have caused one foot to go astray,

If I have walked in my own willful way,

Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have uttered idle words or vain,

If I have turned aside from want or pain,

Lest I offend some other through the strain,

Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have been perverse, or hard, or cold,

If I have longed for shelter in the fold,

When Thou hast given me some fort to hold,

Dear Lord, forgive!

Forgive the sins I have confessed to Thee;

Forgive the secret sins I do not see;

O guide me, love me, and my keeper be.

Dear Lord, forgive!

Self-reflection. May 2017 be the year I do better!

Thanksgiving 2016

Every year on this day, I wake up to write a list of things I'm thankful for. If you know me, then you know I have no shortage of words that can flow across a page with ease when the mood strikes me. I have my Hallmark card list of "things I'm thankful for" that I could probably copy and paste in a moments notice. 

But this year is different. This year I woke up with tears before I could even get my iPad up and running. Some years are just harder than others and this is one of those. Sometimes I have to dig just a little bit further under the surface to be able to put my thoughts on paper. 

This has been a hard year for many reasons. Our country has been beaten and bruised by an election that has brought out the worst and ugliest sides in all of us. Our thoughts, our words and our actions have lashed out to inflict pain and they have met their mark with deadly precision. Though history tells me that we have been here before, this is the most divisive our nation has been in my lifetime and the feeling leaves me heartbroken and despairing. 

This year one of my closest friends, a sister of my heart, was diagnosed with cancer and is preparing for an epic battle to come...and she isn't alone. I can list at least a half a dozen more friends that were diagnosed and fighting as well. 

This year I have lost loved ones, unexpected to say the least, and it has left us in an uncomfortable position of asking God, "Why?"  No one likes to be at this place but as humans, we will inevitably be there at some point in our lives. And as always, I miss family members who passed years ago yet never more than during the holidays. Some losses never lose their sting. 

So this morning I've had to do some soul searching and spent a lot of time in prayer asking God to show me something, give me something, tell me something that would help me through this "year that wasn't as great as others". And being the Loving Father that He never fails to be, He showed me this verse....

Matthew 28:20, "I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

He told me through this verse that there is absolutely no place, no trial, no journey on this earth that He would not be there with me (and you) right by my side. 

So to my fellow Americans, we have not been nor will  we be alone as we begin this journey of repairing our country. 

To my beloved Adel, and my other friends and loved ones fighting cancer, we have not been nor will we be alone for every treatment, every trip to a hospital, every Doctor's visit to give us news of this horrible disease. 

To my family who has lost loved ones this year and years past, we have not been nor will we be alone during our time of grief, suffering and even anger. 

And to all of us, from every moment past to the right here and now and to every moment of the future, we have not been nor will we ever be alone! 

Today, that is what I am Thankful for...a God who will be with me always, to the very end of the age. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Look Full In His Wonderful Face

2 dates stand out in my mind as the greatest days on earth; 10/15/1991 and 6/2/1994. That's the day I met my babies. Most days I can't remember what I had for lunch but these two days? I can't remember everything that happened on these 2 days but one thing I will never forget is what my babies faces looked like. I remember that I couldn't look away from them. Something inside of me physically, mentally and emotionally would not let me take my eyes off of them.

The bible says that we can't look directly into the face of God. Not while we live in this world anyway. Did it ever dawn on you that if we can't look "full in His wonderful face" that He can't look into our eyes either? We are his babies. He has the same physical, mental and emotional need to look into our faces as we do with our own children. We know that He longs to see us because we were created in His image. So what is a parent to do?

He created an alternative path, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We can look into His face by looking into the faces of His people. We can make eye contact with God by making eye contact with His children.

Yet, we spend our days with our eyes on our phones, our iPads, our computers, our televisions. We rarely have a conversation anymore that our eye contact isn't interrupted with an electronic device. What could be more important than devoting our full attention to our fellow man when we know that we are seeing God through their eyes? What jobs do we have that are more important than showing others Christ through us?

I sure need to work on this! I fail at this miserably but I hope that I keep in mind that to love God's people is to love God Himself. I hope that I would never take my eyes off of God to read a text or an e-mail. I shouldn't do that with His Children either.

God, I ask that you would cleanse me of my selfishness and remind me that loving and respecting others is to love and respect You.

Come Home

When Cheyenne Casey  comes home, she always asks me why the coffee always tastes better at my house. We have the same coffee maker, we buy the same coffee and creamer. I never really have an answer for that question. But I do know that when I go to My Momma's house, I've always thought the same thing. Everything seems better at Momma's house. Naps are better, the food tastes better, I never worry about fixing my hair or getting in a hurry to get something done. I walk into her house and I just feel myself breath for a little bit. No matter how old I get, going to my Mom's house just feels like coming home. I don't think it has anything to do with WHERE she lives, I think it's more about WHO she is. I've always felt safe, taken care of, loved unconditionally and treated like I was her number one priority when I'm there.

We all want to feel that way. We all need to feel that way. Some people don't have a Mom that makes them feel this way. This makes me sad.  Some people have lost their parents or never had a parent that made them feel that way. Some people are going from home to home looking for something or someone that will make them feel that way.

God wants to be that person in our lives. He wants to be our dwelling place. He wants to be the person that makes us feel safe, taken care of, loved unconditionally and He wants to treat us as if we are his number one priority... Because we are! He is waiting for you at the door with the best cup of coffee you've ever had. All you have to do is come home❤️

Love Without Parameters

As I stand at the window of my hotel room this morning, I look out across the city of Houston and I am in awe of my surroundings. Not necessarily because it's beautiful, although it does have some artistic appeal to me, but because of its sheer magnitude. It's actually overwhelming to a small town girl like me. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the size of these buildings. It's even harder for me to comprehend the amount of people that are filling the insides of these buildings.

I'm amazed at the sheer effort that it takes to construct these monstrosities, the amount of intelligence it takes to plan them, the amount of muscle it takes to execute those plans. I've been watching a construction site just below my window all morning. If I look closely I can see that there are men and women working on multiple floors. Hundreds of people. There are people above operating cranes and other heavy equipment.  There are people directing and people following. They look like ants, all knowing what needs to be done, all coming together for a common purpose. For most, it's probably for a paycheck. For some, it might be for the satisfaction of doing a job well. For all, it's to build this building. Side by side, they work on a mutual project. People of different colors, different races, different genders, different religions. People taking orders and direction from supervisors without incident.

On these same streets, on any given day you will see people gathered in large groups. Just one block over last night we watched over 30,000 fans pour into Minute Maid Park to watch a baseball game. Different colors, different races, different genders, different religions. Policemen directing traffic which I have come to find out happens every night down here. Everyone doing as they are instructed without incident. You might stand up here and watch a 5k run, people coming together to raise money for Breast Cancer Awareness. You might stand up here and watch this entire downtown area covered with people coming and going to the theater district.

These are the everyday activities of the people of the United States. This happens in every town and city across the US every day. People gathered together in large groups, working towards a mutual cause to accomplish a mutual goal without any attention given to the fact that we are different colors, different races, different genders or different religions.

Our government doesn't want us to see ourselves living together harmoniously. The media doesn't want us to see this everyday living that we do. Instead, they want to divide us, catagorize us, pit us against each other and keep us separated so that they can control our actions and our emotions. Satan is using our government and the media to divide and conquer us. We MUST wake up and take a stand against this! The bible says in Matthew, Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. It also says in 1 Corinthians, I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.

We as a nation, are NOT what we see on the news and social media. We are one nation, under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all. We as individuals are in control of what we allow to influence us. We as individuals are in control of how we treat other people. We as individuals are in control of our own actions. We, as individuals are responsible for kindness and compassion to those around us so that we as a nation can live together in harmony, with a mutual respect and a mutual cause.

God, I am the worlds worst at believing everything I see and hear at face value. I am guilty of allowing the news and social media of misguiding me and keeping me from working on relationships that matter. I ask that you remind me every day that the relationships I build with people are the most important thing I will ever do.

Worry Not

God, it's me again. I need to talk to you this morning. I went to bed worrying and I woke up worrying...over ridiculous stuff. I'm a little overwhelmed right at this moment. This week is the Fiesta. I have a lot of duties to perform. I don't think people realize just how much work is involved getting ready for this. I know I sure didn't when I signed on for it years ago. Every year I get anxiety about this time. I know in the grand scheme of things this is pretty insignificant but to me, this is a pretty big chunk of my time.

Not only that, but I'm worried about the Presidential debates tonight. Good grief! Like I can change anything, right? I have a list of other things that come to mind but I think you get the picture. (Recognize you are in need: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.)

I'm sorry that I seem to always tell you that I'm going to turn this stuff over to You and in the next minute I'm yanking it right back. Why am I such a control freak?!? (repent of our self-sufficiency: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.)

So I guess here's the thing, I don't think I can go through the rest of my week like this. You know me, I need my sleep. My coworkers need me to get my sleep too. My husband definitely needs me to get my sleep. So one more time, I'm asked You to take over the anxiety I'm having this week. I want to be able to have fun planning this Fiesta. I want to have some hope for the future of our Country and I want to get a full 8 hours of sleep! And not necessarily in that order!! (We quit calling the shots and surrender control to God: Blessed are the meek,�for they will inherit the earth.)

I have no doubt that You are up for this task. I can't remember how many times you have come through for me when I come to you like this. I guess it's a good thing you love me so much because I can be worse than a small child when it comes to giving and taking away. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have You. Sometimes I just have to write down my prayers to you because I know me, this is going to come up again and I want to be able to look back at this and remind myself that if I would quit taking back the control I give to You everything would be ok. (So grateful are we for his presence that we yearn for more of him: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,for they will be filled.)

Im going to go ahead and pray for some people right now because I know as this week progresses, there are going to be some people that aren't very nice to me. I've been down this road before. Please let me remember that they might have things going on in their lives that they haven't yet been willing to give over to You. I need to remember that not everything is about me, I might just be the person that catches them at a bad time. I'm going to try really hard not to take any of it to heart. And I really need to pray for the media this week! I have no doubt that they will start spewing and twisting things up as soon as this debate is over tonight. I need to remember that I can't change that and that ultimately you are in charge of what happens in the weeks to come. This is really the hardest part for me, praying for those that hurt me or upset me. I'm working on it though! (As we grow closer to him, we become more like him. We forgive others: Blessed are the merciful,for they will be shown mercy.)

You know, while I'm at it, I'm going to ask you to keep a hand on my heart and remind me of the good that I have seen in the people around me. I really should take the opportunity to let them know that I see these things. It could be that no one has ever taken the time to let them know that someone has noticed. Everyone has something that makes them special. I'm going to try to look for those things this week! (We change our outlook: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.)

Wow, I'm feeling better already! I'm so glad that you always take the time to listen to me ramble. I guess You are the only person I know that doesn't get frustrated when I can't seem to get my thoughts together, which is great; I need someone in my corner. I'm going to try to look forward to planning this week. I really do like that I have the opportunity to serve this way and it does always turn out to be a lot of fun. As for the debate, I think I might sit back with some popcorn and a Pepsi!

Be a Diamond

This morning I was struck with a profound thought. Doesn't happen often but when it does, it happens at just the right time in my life. It seems as though I am surrounded by people dealing with pressure, myself included. My friends, my family; day in and day out. Pressure! This week I have expressed how much pressure I am under getting ready for the Fiesta. I have had a sweet friend express how hard it is to be a mother of small children in this day and age. The competition between young moms is ridiculous. I have another dear friend that is ready to give up Facebook because of the pressure it is causing in her life. People are ruthless when they can hide behind a computer screen and spew hate and discord. Cowards to the very core. And even a member of my family that is having to deal with a lot of pressure at their job, too much to accomplish with not enough time or resources to get the job done. I have a sweet friend just diagnosed with cancer who has begun the fight of her life. My list could go on and on and on. It seems that everyone I know is dealing with pressure.

Now here is where my profound thought comes in. Bare with me here. Pressure is a tool. That sounds wrong but it is so right! Pressure, even though it is not an actual object, is a tool. And here's the real kicker; pressure is one of the tools most often used by Satan AND by God! They both use pressure to mold us. Satan uses pressure to bend us, to break us, to make us give up and beg for mercy. It causes us pain and torture. It makes us lash out and sin to get away from it. Satan uses it to try to conform us to his will for he hopes to keep us from Seeing God.

God uses pressure in the same exact way. God allows the pressure that Satan is throwing around to bend us and break us, to make us give up and beg for mercy. He allows it to cause us pain and torture.

Both of them are using pressure as a tool. Both of them are hoping for the same result. But there is one HUGE difference in the way that they are using this tool. Our faithful Father sent the Holy Spirit to reside in our hearts. He sent us protection against Satan's tactics. Therefore, even though they use the same exact tool for the same exact reason, they will get 2 very different outcomes. Where as Satan uses pressure, his results will become a fossil, a dried, compressed, hardened reminder of a life no longer of this earth. But when God uses pressure, he allows us to become Diamonds! A new creation, sparkling, beautiful, indestructible and sought after by the entire world! All because He gave us the Holy Spirit to protect us from the pressure.

I urge all of us to look at the pressures we face today. Remember that it won't be easy, it won't be quick and it won't  be painless but it will be so worth it in the end! Fight the good fight and become the diamond God intended you to be!

Praise You In This Storm

Summer comes and we can't wait to get outside in the sun to have some fun! Swimming, BBQ's, family vacations, no school. Life just slows down and we enjoy it just a little bit more. Day after day, we play and indulge. Day after day, we are gluttons for the sun and fun. One afternoon we slow down because a storm has moved in. But we don't complain because it has been months since it has rained and it will be so refreshing. Even if it has some hail and wind and lightening, we don't mind because our land is so dry. 

The rain brings with it cooler temperatures. Just what we needed! We've been so hot all summer and going out into that sun has lost its appeal. Fall has arrived and we can't wait for football and milder temps. Our meals get a little heavier and so do our fannies but that's ok because swim suit season is over! Can I get an Amen?!? Thank you Sweet Baby Jesus that we don't have THAT pressure hanging over us anymore! Could life get any better? 

We wake up one morning and a cold front has moved in. Thank goodness. Nobody wants to wear shorts on Christmas morning...a very real thing in Texas! We want to see some snow on the ground, make snowmen and snow ice cream if we're lucky, sing Christmas songs and do some baking! Our trees go up and it feels like a party every day.  We watch parades on television, exchange a mountain of gifts and bring out our ugly sweaters to hide all that baking we've been doing😳

One more day we are slugging through the mud and the ice and the muck to get to our cars to go to work and we see something bright green trying to peek through the crusty ground. Before we know it, tiny flowers are poking up all around us and our yards look like the grass fairy has made a sweep! It's so pretty and it smells so good! We look at ourselves in the mirror and wonder where the heck that 20 pounds came from. We decide it's time to do something about it! What better time than when everything is starting over? It's a new year and a new me! We work hard, drop a few pounds and start to feel really good. We look up and guess what? Sweet Summertime is here! And so the cycle continues. 

Do you notice what just happened here? Seasons changed. We embraced each one of them with very little thought to the actual change. We just went with them. We accommodate and make the best of the current situation. We find the joy to be had in each one of them. We can't control the weather or the climate so we adapt.

But what happens when the seasons change in our personal lives? You know, the ones that we say God is in control of but only when we want Him to be?.........

All of our lives we dream of finding a soul mate, a spouse, a person that we can grow old with. That special person is perfect, until they are not. You wake up one morning and realize your special person has a drinking problem. You can't fix it, you can't control it. It wrecks your marriage and you wonder what you did wrong. 

You carry your child for 9 months. You dream of heart shaped lips, 10 fingers and 10 toes and pretty pink skin. You can't wait to chase this little person around the house and hear their laugh. Your baby is placed in your arms and you immediately know something isn't right. Your baby is born with special needs and you wonder what you did wrong. 

You thank God every day for that special friend that He put in your life. The one that you can tell all of your darkest secrets to, the one that will always make you smile and knows just what you need, day or night. The one that calls you and tells you that they were diagnosed with cancer.....and you wonder what you did wrong. 

You spend every day talking to your parent. You think they will always be there for you, even when no one else is. You rely on them for everything. Until they are relying on you and they are in a nursing home and they can't remember who you are and you wonder what you did wrong. 

The seasons in our lives change just like the weather. But we don't handle the transitions as well. The bible says:

3 There is a time for everything,

    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,

    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3     a time to kill and a time to heal,

    a time to tear down and a time to build,

4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,

    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6     a time to search and a time to give up,

    a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7     a time to tear and a time to mend,

    a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8     a time to love and a time to hate,

    a time for war and a time for peace.

God is going to allow the seasons in our lives to change. Every change will bring with it an opportunity to turn to Him, to rely on Him and to praise Him. 

God, I know that change is inevitable. You allow the seasons to change outside and you've always prepared me for it. I know that the seasons in my heart are going to change too and I know that if I keep my focus on You, that You will prepare me for those changes as well. I can't promise that I won't stumble but I can promise that I will praise You in this storm.

It's Not About Me

Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.
Psalm 50:15

Problems Have a Purpose
God will use whatever he wants to display his glory. Heavens and stars. History and nations. People and problems. Death of a loved one or even a loved one who is suffering and is praying for death to take them. I remember my Grandaddy. He died around the age of 92. He was crippled, he was almost blind and he was in excruciating pain day in and day out as he laid in a bed in the nursing home. I would go to see him and he would cry to me and ask why God wouldn't just take him. But before I would walk into his room each time, before he knew that I was there, he would be praying to God to take care of my little brothers. He did this every day, all day long. He loved those boys with a heart like no other. I realized that maybe God needed my Grandaddy to stay on this earth, suffering and crying to go to his Heavenly home, because he was such a prayer warrior. Maybe my brothers needed his prayers because they couldn't pray for themselves and no one else was. I have no idea. What I do know is that my Grandaddy was the best example of a Christian that I have ever known! I miss him to this day and I am so grateful to have spent as many years with him as I did. Floyd Donica, you are missed and loved to this day❤️

A season of suffering is a small assignment when compared to the reward.
Rather than begrudge your problem, explore it. Ponder it. And most of all, use it. Use it to the glory of God…
Your pain has a purpose. Your problems, struggles, heartaches, and hassles cooperate toward one end—the glory of God.
—It’s Not About Me

Heavenly Father, when problems and pain come my way, help me to remember that nothing comes into my life without your approval. Rather than complain and cry about the challenges I face, help me consider them as opportunities to bring glory to you. Give me the strength and patience to bear my burdens in a way that will honor you. I will lift my eyes off the trials and keep them fixed firmly on you, amen.

Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us.
Daniel 3:17
Not a word failed of any good thing which the Lord had spoken to the house of Israel. All came to pass.
Joshua 21:45
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
Psalm 34:19